The Secret Diaries of Janice Combs

Feb 03

[video]

Feb 02

There Is No Such Thing as Watermelon Ciroc Vodka

This has Ms. J Alexander’s greasy Fashion Fair name written all over it.

Whoever is out there bootlegging my son’s vodka, the battle has been joined.

Emergency Celebrity Mama Mafia meeting tonight to draw up a counter-offensive. 

Jan 27

[video]

Jan 26

7 Wtf Endorsement Deals Featuring Rappers
4. P. Diddy For Proactiv Solutions I don’t know how in the f*** this came about but I suppose even the devil needs to “moisturize his situation” and “preserve his […]

Source: The Smoking Section

[video]

Daughter In Law Candidates: Jennifer Hudson

Engaged, shmengaged. Child please.

Who are you gonna be happier with, my son the music mogul, or that boy trying to be the next John Cena? I rest my case. Here’s how Jennifer stacks up on my scorecard:

In common with Sean: Music business, endorsements, outside children.

and more importantly..

In common with Me: Fabulous weave at all times. Very stylish. Awesome figure. Awesome pumps.

2011 Earnings: $2M … and note that’s $2M more than Kim Porter.

Other pluses: Good home training, Weight Watchers contract.

If you have any other suggestions, hit the Get In My Business button and hit up the Queen. 

Jan 24

signedfury:

SWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!!!

So Me, Big Ang, and Nancy Jones Go To this Hookah Bar

Psst. Wanna know why Big Ang and Mama Jones talk like the Ghosts of Harvey Fierstein Past? One word: Hookah. 

Yeah once in awhile me Big Ang and Nancy go to this hookah bar called Babylon on 34th street right? (Personally I think it’s all a ploy by Nancy to try and get in to the Celebrity Mama Mafia. Not.happening. Not as long as I got a pulse.) 

Anyway, I don’t know why I keep going, because Ang and Nancy have built up such a tolerance they got to drag off 4 or 5 hoses at a time. This means we can’t sit together. These greedy yatches have us taking up 3 tables just so they can get their Puff the Magic Dragon on. We can’t even hear each other talk, so you know what we do? Sit there and text each other all night long. How stupid is that?

I mean if you got that kind of lung power, why not go fire up one those pan flutes and cut a record?

Make some money and quit wasting my time, you know? I mean if you can’t put some sticky icky in there, what’s the point? 

Anway I’m up now, so I’m gonna go to work revealing the first of my top 10 choices for a wife for Sean.